The first time we spoke, my husband and I were having breakfast.
“Do you want me to give you a hint?” he asked.
“I’m going to tell you the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” I replied.
“It’s going to be blonde hair.”
“Are you kidding?” he said.
“You know that you’re going to go bald.”
I had never seen a bald man before.
He was wearing a dark suit, but not the one I’d been wearing the previous day.
I asked him to show me a picture of the actress.
“This is Rachel McAdams,” he said, pointing at her hair.
“She has blonde hair and I’m wearing this white suit.”
“She looks so blonde,” I said.
I was so happy that he was giving me the hint.
“And she has a boyfriend,” he added.
“Oh, you’re kidding?”
“What about that guy?”
“He’s blonde,” he continued.
“But he’s not a real man.
He’s just like a computer character.”
“He looks like a cartoon character,” I protested.
“No, he’s a real person.”
“You’re the real thing,” he agreed.
“Then you should tell me the rest.”
I thought this would be a fun conversation to have.
But my husband had an idea.
“What are you waiting for?” he suggested.
“Just say it,” I told him.
“So I’m going in there with my hair like this,” I explained.
“See if you can see that hair?”
He nodded and pointed to his scalp.
“Can you see?”
“No,” I answered.
“The hair is there.
But it’s not right.”
“I’ll show you how to see,” he suggested, “then you can have the first clue.”
I was going to ask him to take his hair and leave me alone for a minute, but I was too excited to think about the consequences of such a stupid question.
I decided to have a little fun.
“Here, let me show you my hair,” I asked.
I pointed to the scalp.
The blond hair was perfectly straight, but the hair on my shoulders and neck was a little crooked.
“How long is this hair?” he offered.
“Not that long,” I admitted.
“Well, it’s like a little hair, but it’s really long.”
“That’s the first hair you can look at,” he assured me.
“Now go to bed.”
He jumped up from his chair.
You’re a man.”
“Because you’re a blonde.”
“Yes, I am,” I insisted.
“Are your eyes red?”
When I looked at his face, I was immediately reminded of how the day had gone.
I had been very excited for a day that had been so long in the making.
He had told me I was the most amazing thing he had ever seen.
“Good night, sweetheart,” he announced.
He left and I got up from my seat.
“He was right,” I thought.
“Thank you, sweetie,” he smiled.
“It means a lot.”
“How did you get that idea?”
“The first time I met Rachel McConaughey was at a wedding,” I confessed.
“We had just come back from a week in Australia.”
“And we met at the wedding?”
“So you’re not surprised?”
“Oh no,” I exclaimed.
“Because she is the most gorgeous woman I have ever met.”
“It doesn’t matter,” he replied.
He smiled at me and walked out.
The rest of the day was spent playing with my new blonde hair.
It looked fantastic.
But as I walked through the hallway to the front desk to talk to the receptionist, the receptionists noticed me.
They started asking questions.
“Wait, what are you doing?” they asked.
They noticed my hair and asked about it.
“Is this your hair?” they said.
But I didn’t care.
It was fine.
“Hey, can I have your hair please?”
“That looks amazing,” the reception staff said.
And then they asked me to go get some shampoo and conditioner.
The first thing they said to me was, “Do I look blonde?”
“You look like a girl!”
They were both shocked.
“Wow, you look pretty,” I was saying.
“When do you want to get your hair cut?”
“At home,” they said, and I was very excited.
They asked if I would like to have the hair cut.
I said, as I stepped out of the shower.
I thought about the blonde hair I’d just discovered.
But the next day, I found out that it was not the hair I was looking for.
My hair was not blond.
I called my hair stylist. The